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I’m not depressed

I am not depressed
I’m just deflated
Out of style and over-dressed
At second-best, I’m overrated

An old birthday balloon
(Out of breath, somewhat bated)
I hum my jingles out of tune
One-hit-wonders soon outdated

Like a song without sound
Mourning a muted meltdown
I’m at the point of no concern
For my inability to yearn

I am –
Whatever comes after
The past, the future
The cries, and the laughter

I remain –
Whatever came before
The purple rain, the midnight train
The virgin and the whore

I am a pixelated painting
Understood by few
Inexplicably containing
Little drops of you

You’re my middle C
A sepia photograph
Of my mundane eulogy
And my previous epitaph

You are my bitter half
The gall in my bladder
My nervous laugh
My endless chatter

You’re my history rewritten
My once shy, twice-bitten
My state-of-the-art
You’re the bottom of my heart

The top of my lungs
You’re my talking in tongues
The motivational quote
In my suicide note

And although I’ll never be free
From this heart on my sleeve
I’ll always wish you to be
The Adam to my Eve.

Published inPoetry


  1. akshata akshata

    this is truly a beautiful poem!!!

  2. so close to tears

  3. Jenny Jenny

    I just wanted you to know how much I liked this! Everything was so beautifully worded and it spoke volumes to me in a way I cannot describe. Wow.

  4. Ilva Pieterse Ilva Pieterse

    Thank you for your amazing words, Jenny!

  5. Lex Lex

    I really enjoyed everything about this. It is so well written and flows perfectly yet it is original, interesting and addictive. I really related. Thanks

  6. kishori SUD kishori SUD

    i luvd it !!

  7. Rachel Rachel

    I cannot describe what this makes me feel and I feel it freshly each time I read it. This is so beautiful and you are clearly very talented. Thank you for sharing this with all the people who need to read it.

    Rachel B.

  8. Tori Tori

    Never read poetry that I stumble across, but I read this one and I’m so glad I did. Best thing I’ve read. You’re amazing.

  9. Liz Liz

    I was impressed with this poem because it had beautiful imagery. I especially enjoyed the imagery conjured up with the deflation and old birthday balloons. The one qualm I had with this poem is that it seems to be almost two separate pieces. The two stanzas “I remain….” and “I am a pixelated painting….” take a definite shift in the tone of the poem. I feel as though you could easily split the poem at the two stanzas I mentioned. You could take the first half of the poem and flush it out more, following its theme of deflation. You could then take the second half of the poem and really delve into the ying and yang love theme you have going on. I think by doing that you could make them into two stronger unique pieces.

  10. Maia Maia

    Make this a song…right now! You have no idea how many of my friends would relate to this poem, but sadly theyre “to cool” for poetry, so give this to a singer. Please?

  11. This is a beautiful poem with great emotion in it. The part that stuck out to me was the “I’m not depressed I’m just…” It makes me wonder if that’s what my cousin kept thinking before he killed himself. Telling himself over and over that he wasn’t depressed. Thinking of other ways to say it so it didn’t sound so bad in his head. If he would have just admitted it maybe this year would have started differently. Poetry is an amazing way to say how your feeling without really saying it. It’s an escape, for me at least, from negative emotions. I don’t know what you truly wrote this about or what anyone else will notice. Those are just my thoughts and what this made me think of. It really is a marvelous work of art. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Tam Tam

    THE most amazing poem I’ve ever read! <3 BEAUTIFUL.

  13. Jeff Moloi Jeff Moloi

    This is beautiful Ilva. Miss you lots

  14. Duvaineth Duvaineth

    i’d really like to say how beautiful this poem is and how much i loved it and just how thoughtful and, as one Michele Iverson said, “epiphanous” it is,
    but everyone has already said as much, and i cannot seem to find more words to describe how truly awesome this poem is.
    you have an amazing gift, Ilva, keep on using it 🙂

  15. Rae Ellen Rae Ellen

    That was fucking awesome… and that’s all I have to say about that. Can I save that?

  16. Ilva Pieterse Ilva Pieterse


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